Middle School Students Take in Anti-Bullying Message

Five days a week between August and June, John Halligan travels to schools across the U.S.--this week to middle schools in Murrieta--sharing a bullying prevention message.

He didn't plan for it to be this way.

When he first shared the story about his son committing suicide at age 13 after being bullied online and at school, it was at a high school in Vermont. He'd been invited to speak by a high school counselor who had been following the passage of ACT 117.

The bill was passed unchanged in Vermont within seven months of his son, Ryan's, suicide. It called for establishing bullying prevention procedures in public schools.

Months later, he received an email from a student who was at the assembly. In the email, she confessed that after hearing how bullying resulted in Ryan taking his life, she apologized to those she had bullied years earlier in middle school.

That was in 2005, and since then requests for him to speak have allowed him to leave his full-time job to take on advocating against bullying and cyberbullying.

"I had no intention of giving this speech publicly more than once," Halligan told sixth-graders who were gathered Tuesday morning to hear him speak at

"Ryan's situation is universal, unfortunately," Halligan said.

"Every school we step into there is a similar situation going on. At least one person in this room is going to take this to heart and simply say sorry to someone they have tormented, and this would have been time well spent."

After showing a video that highlighted Ryan's life growing up, Halligan spoke while images of his son continued to flash on a projector screen.

He shared how his son was bullied by the same boy since fifth grade. In the summer between seventh and eighth grade, Ryan was then taunted through instant messaging by a girl pretending to like him. After Ryan's death, Halligan went through his son's online activity.

"She thought it would be funny for her and her friends to fake they liked him throughout the summer."

After his son died, they found out the girl was also at risk for suicide.

"The last thing we wanted was for another family to go through this...I am convinced there is no greater human pain than to lose a child."

The multipurpose room at Thompson Middle School was quiet as students listened.

"All of you are loved beyond belief--trust me on this one," he told the students, who were invited to join the discussion. Many raised their hands.

Wayne Sakamoto, safe school director for Murrieta Valley Unified School District, said the message likely really hit home for the students.

"At this time, we have a society that promotes cruelty with video games and movies," Sakamoto said. "This is a big challenge for every school in the U.S. and especially middle schools."

Sakamoto said there is a districtwide effort this year to focus on bullying and cyberbullying, and most of it is geared toward middle schoolers.

"Hopefully we can catch it before it gets to high school," Sakamoto said.

Halligan is speaking today through Thursday at three middle schools in the district. during presentations tonight from 6:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. at Thompson Middle School and Wednesday evening at .

The parent presentation involves a PowerPoint meant to educate parents on cyberbullying.

"My goal for parents is to give them information my wife and I didn't have," Halligan said.

He said his son ultimately died of an illness--depression--that worsened with the bullying. He'd also suffered learning disabilities when he was younger.

Sakamoto said the district does have an anti-bullying policy in place, which is distributed with student handbooks. It is in the process of being updated to include cyberbullying, which can take place online and or with any form of technology, such as cell phones.

Dale Velk, principal at Thompson Middle School, said the funds to pay for Halligan's visit came out of his administrative budget.

"This is a must-have," Velk said.

Read more about Ryan Halligan at Ryanpatrickhalligan.org.