Picking up the pieces... 18

As William Gary Simpson stabbed her to DEATH – Saskia grabbed the curtains and pulled so hard she ripped the screws from the stud in the wall, splintering the wood…  She laid on the floor gulping for air like a fish out of water, unable to EVER fill her lungs again after Gary severed them INSIDE HER…  And in between, the SCREAMS –

THE SCREAMS…

Pink foam.  This is what it is, to clean up the blooddrops…  Pink foam.  It has taken me this long, to go into that room once more – TO FINISH CLEANING UP WILLIAM GARY SIMPSON’S BLOODY MESS!  Blooddrops, blooddrops everywhere…

Pink foam on the floor.  Pink foam on the walls.  Pink foam on the furniture and computer and books…  Pink foam swirling down the drain in the sink…  The multitude of blooddrops I can NEVER wash away, as they are SPLATTERED across the last father’s day card Saskia made, SPLATTERED across so many of the LAST THINGS she did or was working on in the office GARY MURDERED SASKIA in…  As Gary fights to keep his life, I spend mine CLEANING UP ALL HIS MESSES…  The lives he’s ruined forever.  The house he damaged so thoroughly.  THE MASSIVE AMOUNT OF BLOOD HE LEFT BEHIND HIM IN HIS MURDEROUS RAMPAGE…

It is incredibly mind-boggling to me – that we ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE TRIAL of the man who murdered our Saskia…  That even IF we are lucky enough to get the verdict of the Death Penalty, which is THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE ONE TO US FOR ALL WILLIAM GARY SIMPSON HAS DONE, well, the ACLU has made GETTING RID of this verdict it’s number one mission across the United States…  And in the too many years we would be forced to stand by and await this sentence FOR THE MAN WHO IS GUILTY OF HIS CRIME to ACTUALLY be carried forth, the ACLU might TAKE IT FROM US ENTIRELY…

It boggles my mind too – HOW MURDERER’S LIKE WILLIAM GARY SIMPSON can so easily CHOOSE TO TAKE LIVES, yet how fiercely they fight to SAVE THEIR OWN LIFE.  How, when facing their own mortality – they place blame on the VICTIMS, cut DEALS with the DA’s office so they can keep their sorry lives, or scream INSANITY - when in each and every case IT WAS THE MURDERERS CHOICE TO COMMIT MURDER…  GARY is no exception here either.

William Gary Simpson is still LYING…  It’s all he’s ever done.  He lied every time he opened his mouth – and said he was a friend.  Or family.  Or a son.  That he ever cared about anyone but himself, EVER…  He is a liar.  He fashions himself to be the GREAT PRETENDER…   Because ALL he is, IS A MURDERER…  And still he is trying to wiggle out of HIS RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS ACTIONS…  Placing EVERYTHING in our life too indefinitely “ON HOLD” as his lawyers look for every EXCUSE to save his GUILTY LIFE…  As if his GUILTY life is at all worth saving…

I’ve spent all this time with the trauma therapists and doctors, the ONLY adult human contact I get anymore all thanks to GARY, trying to undo the damage GARY has done to ME…  Unable to sleep, unable to eat – GARY has left me without the basic human needs of life itself…  The thought, of even trying to sleep MORE than the three hours a day I get – in just THIS short time every day, I AWAKEN FROM THE MEMORY TOO MANY TIMES OF WHAT GARY DID…  The thought that I would remember it MANY MORE TIMES and awaken to the HORROR THAT IS MY LIFE if I could extend my sleep, just seems too cruel now…  For the HORROR of awakening to it even once is too much each day.  And the PAIN of eating, of suffering MORE AGONY because of GARY for any reason, seems so unfathomable to me now…

I am 1 year 7 months old in this NEW LIFE GARY HAS GIVEN TO ME…  When I speak of “MY LIFE” as Cat, I tell people I am 98 years old – because my perspective and views are THAT CHANGED…  Left alive in a life, NONE OF YOU would DARE to live, yet expect ME to…

ALL OF IT, nothing but the most INCOMPREHENSIBLE NIGHTMARE since the moment William Gary Simpson MURDERED Saskia and CHANGED OUR LIVES FOREVER…  Gave to us this NEW LIFE AFTER MURDER…

Lucky me…  Now I can add to the list of memories to dream about,

PINK FOAM…