Picking up the Pieces... Part 10

Saskia was so looking forward to graduation!  She had been looking into several different colleges, researching programs that sounded interesting to her.  In November, she had decided to focus her search to MSU.  My best friend of 30 years, Kim, has a daughter Lynnette who will be attending MSU, and Saskia decided she definitely wanted to share the college experience – and a dorm room – with Lynnette. 

Kim and I each conceived our second child within months of one other.  And while our resemblance is near enough to be considered sisters – we are both small, fine-boned redheads – our daughters resemblance to each other was uncanny.  Physically the girls look like twins, and both were academically brilliant!  Raised together since birth, they truly were ‘identical sisters’ in every sense of the word.  And Saskia was so excited, that after so many years apart, they would be together again during this new stage of their lives! 

Only now, Lynnette will be attending college, alone.  Instead of filling out college application forms, and losing ourselves in the excitement of graduation, well –

I have to admit, I really hate where I find myself now!  Left alive, to deal with the mass destruction of the many lives William Gary Simpson left in the wake of his murderous rampage!  Picking up the pieces that can never be put back together… 

NOW, instead of preparing to send my beautiful, brilliant daughter off to college, I am preparing myself to deal with her murderer in court…  Instead of helping Saskia choose classes, I am doing research on California laws, the Death Penalty and working on my IMPACT STATEMENT…  Instead of helping Saskia decide what she wants to do, and become in her life – I am now left to contend with how to secure William Gary Simpson from ever touching our lives again!

We made it through the prelim Friday, September 14, 2012... 

As they put up all the bloody pictures, of the crime scene that is my home...  As they put up the pictures of my daughters bloody, mutilated body and explained which stab wounds were the fatal ones...  "Murrieta police Detective Jeffrey Ullrich, who attended the autopsy of Saskia Burke, said the woman suffered seven stab wounds. Two of the wounds, one to the right side of her face that severed her jugular vein and another to the center of her chest, were not survivable, Ullrich said"

William Gary Simpson stabbed Saskia in her left cheek, the force of the knife breaking her 3 molars on her bottom left jaw, shoving the knife all the way through her face, the blade going out her right cheek...  AFTER PULLING THE KNIFE OUT, he stabbed her again, the force of the knife going into her right cheek, at a downward angle, slicing through her tongue, cutting through the muscle and tendons in her jaw and severing her artery, all 12+ inches of the blade going in all the way to her heart...  After PULLING THE KNIFE OUT AGAIN, he then stabbed her in the chest - severing both her lungs and the ventricle to her heart...

She lived long enough for us to helplessly watch her die!

"He went into the home to kill those people," Smith said. "Paul Burke and Connor McCormack are not dead because they had the strength to fight back."  Saskia Burke did not have a chance, Smith said.  "(Simpson) slaughters her," Smith said. "He stabbed her in the face, in the heart, in the back."

I live in a horror, too absolute to breathe...

His intent, to slaughter my entire family - and the heinous way in which he slaughtered my daughter, well - during a break in court, even his defense lawyers approached us and apologized for what happened to Saskia...

“The Riverside County district attorney decided in April to seek the death penalty for William Gary Simpson, who also is charged with two counts of attempted murder in connection with the stabbings of Burke's father, Paul, and her boyfriend, Connor McCormack, then 17. Simpson also faces several special allegations including lying in wait and committing his crimes during a burglary.

The charges against William Gary Simpson Jr., 19, the alleged killer of Saskia Burke, were upheld by Riverside County Superior Court Judge Kelly Hansen following a day-long preliminary hearing.

Simpson is charged with first-degree murder and a special circumstance allegation of killing in the course of a burglary in the Dec. 20, 2011 fatal attack at the Burke home, in Murrieta.

He is also charged with a special circumstance allegation of lying in wait, as well as two counts of attempted murder and multiple great bodily injury and weapons allegations.”

AND RIGHT NOW, IT COMES DOWN TO YOUR VOTE !

Revenge and Justice are all we ever hear, from everyone!  It is all that is discussed from the Victims viewpoint, when looking at the Death Penalty.  But I have a different perspective, from within this inadequate justice system we currently bear…  For there is truly no Revenge great enough, no Justice powerful enough to make ANY DIFFERENCE AT ALL…

I have only my unique perspective as a MOTHER about this issue.  I look down the road, at the possible future all my children may one day have…  To a day when they have families, and children of their own…  I do not want them to be forced to revisit Saskia’s murder, forced ever again to see the face of William Gary Simpson, the monster who murdered her!  Or worse, that somehow Gary is granted PAROLE, this wolf - in - sheep’s - clothing?  That again in their future, my children would live in mortal fear for their lives?  That William Gary Simpson, if given his freedom, would exact his revenge upon my children and my grandchildren?

Again, let me say – I really hate where I find myself now!  Relying on a dysfunctional system, forcibly held by it, and yet I can find no place for myself here!  With limited options, which are beyond my control.  And yet the FINAL decision?  Will determine the future of everyone I love.  This alone, is a place that can make you loose your mind!  A place of never ending terror!

I ran across a case, when researching the Death Penalty that left me physically ill.  The murderer, on Death Row, coerced someone on the outside to kill the witnesses to his crime.  This person succeeded in murdering two of the witnesses before he was apprehended, with a hit-list in his pocket…  The murderer on Death Row thought that if he killed all the witnesses to his crime, he could get another chance in court to get a lesser sentence.  Hoping one day, to be free.

Crazy to think, the murderer would do this.  And yet, since that morning when William Gary Simpson attacked us, we have continued to live with the fact that this could to happen to us again, at any moment!  We constantly feel as if the next attack is eminent, unable to release ourselves from the overwhelming defensiveness.  To the rest of the world, he is behind bars. But to us?  He will continue to pose a threat to our very lives, each and every day he exists.  Whether real or imagined, but does that really matter?  Because we spend every day in FEAR, regardless. To the rest of the world, he is behind bars, now and forever!  But to us?  Forever may only be the next 20 or so years…  Each day ahead, not only spent in FEAR, but also now accompanied by the terror of knowing we will NEVER give up the fight to keep him locked away!

As I’ve said many times, William Gary Simpson destroyed our lives, in too many ways for anyone who isn’t standing in our shoes to imagine!  The powerlessness of such complete VICTIMIZATION!

And through it all, the sweet voice of my Saskia, that only I can hear now.  Her words, of how SHE feels:

“ I could never forgive someone for taking away my rights, my home, my friends and my life!  If things like this happened to me I would be resentful, rather than forgiving.  I just couldn’t forgive the people who were so prejudiced that they made me lose my best friends, and school.  Just the thought of losing them brings tears to my eyes.  I couldn’t forgive the people who took away my parents rights as citizens.  I couldn’t forgive the people who restricted my loved ones from doing the things they love.  I couldn’t forgive those who made me leave my home.  I wouldn’t be able to forgive them for MAKING ME SO SCARED OF THEM, I FROZE WITH FEAR EVERY TIME I HEARD A SOUND!” 

Saskia’s thoughts, written just weeks before her murder, for an essay on Anne Frank.  “Thinking that Anne forgave them for all that, is unbelievably saintly.  Even though Anne was just a regular girl like me, she was more remarkable than anyone I have ever heard of!  I wouldn’t be as forgiving and naïve.  I would be resentful, for being so wronged!”  I ran across this open page, sitting in her room amongst her unfinished homework.  HER THOUGHTS, about an unspeakable horror and injustice.  HER WORDS, that speak directly to William Gary Simpson, Saskia’s “NAZI”!

SASKIA’S PASSION – for her life, and her family and her friends!  How Saskia has been so wronged!  And knowing, her expectations of me, to never let her death be in vain!  Knowing, that when I am finally free of this mess to go to her, she will know I did everything I could to take a stand, to affect change, to make a difference FOR HER in this world!  She would expect nothing less from me.  She would accept no other excuse from me for staying here, for forsaking her wishes for me to join her in death NOW!

And so, I now take a firm stance in this matter,

FOR THE DEATH PENALTY!   PLEASE Vote NO on Proposition 34!

In this election year, the DEATH PENALTY will be on the ballot.  Our CA Governor, Jerry Brown, opposes the Death Penalty.  I need your help to make Saskia the face for all victims, and give Saskia’s story, to the people of California –  AND THIS NATION, as to why the Death Penalty is so important to the Victims of Violent Crime.  Join me in putting political views, religious beliefs, and personal feelings aside – to finally change our laws!  Throughout the history of our country, change only came after someone had reason enough to stand before us and lead the way!  I stand before you now – and Saskia is my reason! 

I would have never thought, I would find myself to be the mother of a murdered child, the victim of a heinous, violent crime.  We were good, moral parents, who raised our children in a very loving home. Our murderer, coveted that love we had…  Our murderer, was a friend of our son's - a friend to our family, for over 10 years... Ten years of birthday parties, Christmas vacations, summer sleepovers and pool parties.  Ten years of classes with our son, fieldtrips, lunches and recess...  Ten years, of paintball games and 4th of July fireworks, of hanging out and playing Rock Band in our living room...  Our murderer was raised by his mother in a privileged home, attended the same good schools as our children, and he received good grades.  I could have never thought he would plan for almost 1 year, to come into our home 4 days before Christmas (after hiding in an empty nearby house waiting for all our children to come home), to murder us all!  He slashed and stabbed my daughter to death, when she went downstairs for a bottle of water at 4am...  Our entire house awoke to her screams!  My husband and another child were stabbed…  I fought with him to take the murder weapon…  My 13-year-old daughter stood on the steps, hearing and watching all of this!

I will NEVER FORGET LOOKING INTO HIS SMILING FACE, THE HORROR OF REALIZING WHO HE WAS!!!

I know just how flawed our system is – as I am forced to live within it now!  We now find ourselves lost in this "Justice System", a system that is fraught too many 'injustices' for victims and their families.  Isn't it time, as a nation, we make the needed changes within this defunct system, to ensure the safety of everyone?  If not for yourself, then for the safety of your children!   Our current system is designed “FOR” the murderers, not the victims.  Our murderer was caught, and faces the death penalty.  A sentence he will never really receive, when it is given to him.  Besides the fact that we witnessed him do this, there is overwhelming DNA evidence, and yet - it will be years before we can get to a trial, as he claims he is innocent of all charges...  An agonizing process for all victims to endure, a process that keeps them frozen in the moment of murder until the trial is over!  And when our murderer is sentenced?  Our terror does not end, it may never end!  The senseless money wasted, to move through the process of an ineffectual trial, to give forth a sentence that will never be carried out?

I raised Saskia to believe – ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!  Let that person be Saskia!  Start, by voting

NO on Proposition 34 !

I am Catherine Burke –

 Mother of a Murdered Child – AND – Victim of a Violent Crime ! 

In this election year what becomes MOST important is fixing our broken Justice System to actually uphold the VERDICT.  Life in Prison WITHOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF PAROLE should always and forever remain just that.  And the Death Penalty should be conducted as swiftly as the

CHOICE THE MURDERER MADE IN KILLING… 

For you see, I am left to live a life now, which is truly TOO INHUMANE to be forced to live.  And I hope you can all open your eyes, to see what it is to be a VICTIM, and extend to VICTIMS such as us the same understanding, compassion, and HUMANITY that is all too often offered more to the MURDERERS!

Vote NO on Proposition 34 - If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children...

My 14 year old daughter, Kessa, is waiting...  To stand behind the glass, and watch as they execute William Gary Simpson.  She can't feel SAFE, until he is DEAD.  She speaks of this, every single day!  Because she has nightmares of what Simpson did, every single night.  It is her way of dealing with the trauma of witnessing Simpson murder her sister!  It is this hope to see him die, that keeps her going forward, for now...  

And for ME?  I saw everything that demon, William Gary Simpson, did on December 20, 2011…  I now know it is true – that MONSTERS DO EXIST! 

And I am living proof, THAT NO ONE IS SAFE!