1 Year Later: Families Still Mourning Homicide Victims

Dec. 20 and 21, 2011 changed two families forever when their loved ones were killed a day apart in Murrieta.

While many are busy prepping for the upcoming holiday, a sense of sadness thickens for Barb Tolton, whose son, 36-year-old Samuel Vanettes,

"There hasn't been a day that has gone by in the last 12 months that we haven't talked about Sam, cried over Sam, laughed over memories of Sam, smelled him, heard his laughter and endlessly missed him," Tolton wrote Thursday in an email to Patch on the eve of the one-year anniversary of her son’s death.

Witnesses at the popular restaurant pinned the shooter as off-duty Riverside County sheriff’s deputy Dayle William Long, and said Vanettes had been trying to break up an argument.

Long is still awaiting trial; on Friday, the start date for the proceeding was postponed to July 8.

"Yes we believe in justice but why does it take so long? For those of us who are victims’ families...waiting for closure is torture," Tolton said.

"After being in court on Friday and hearing that our trial was being pushed out...we were depressed, then came home and switched the TV on and saw the horrific incident in Newtown, CT.

"Dennis [Vanettes’ stepfather] and I cried as our hearts went out to those parents who were not even aware yet of the pain that will encompass them during the next 12 months...Forcing yourself to look at Christmas decorations and presents that you have bought them, facing the first holidays without them.”

Tolton said it has been the hardest year of their lives.

"Just to get up every morning, go to work and act normal has been quite a feat. Because I don't really think that we will ever feel normal again.

"A piece of our hearts has been ripped out as it has from those CT parents. Our prayers are going to them and to the siblings of those children for their grief will come a little at a time...as months go by and they miss them so much more every day. 

"I have watched my daughter and granddaughters break into tears so many times in the past year, wishing they could talk one last time to him. The oldest, Veronica, felt he was her mentor and best friend. They all feel they have lost their best friend...they have...we all have lost someone we loved so much that it just hurts."

Saskia Burke

Just the day before Vanettes was killed, 19-year-old William Gary Simpson allegedly broke into the family home of 18-year-old Murrieta Valley High School student where he is accused of stabbing her to death.

Losing Saskia forever on Dec. 20, 2011 has been hard on parents, Catherine and Paul Burke, and younger sister, Kessa. The family voted unanimously not to put up a Christmas tree this year, said Catherine Burke.

She thanked members of the community who have been anonymously bringing things such as meals to their door this week in light of the anniversary of Saskia’s death—just days before Christmas last year.

"Our family, we are still so strapped in the trauma of what took place that morning," Burke said.

The Riverside County District Attorney is seeking the death penalty against Simpson on the murder charge. DNA testing of evidence has put a hold on the case going to trial; Simpson is next due in court March 8.

Burke said she is flooded with memories of Saskia, compounded by the stress of the ongoing court deliberations.

She, too, offered words for the parents of the victims in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings.

"There are 20 more sets of parents standing really close to our shoes. If I could find things that really do work I would put together a survivors’ book."

Her words of advice to all parents: "Cherish what you got."